Saturday, November 14, 2015

Alone is ok

 It was a year in August that I've been on my own. And in that time, I've gone through the expected emotions and phases of learning to live with only myself and my little dog for company. At first I cried, and spent enormous amounts of time on the phone with friends as I reached out in search of contact. Then I got involved and stayed busy for a while as I learned to adapt. Finally, I began to learn how to enjoy my own company and explore my own likes and desires.

And all through-out, I have learned that I am as strong as I've always suspected I am but was previously afraid to try. I have learned how delicious independence can be and how solitude is not a cause for crushing anxiety, but rather something to be enjoyed. I am exploring different hobbies and creative pursuits and without any distractions, am practicing discipline at staying with a project to the end. 

And, while I still miss having a partner to be tender with, I'm not particularly keen to go looking for one. There are areas in my life where I want to grow further, and although I have come a long way in my view of myself and level of confidence, that is another point I want to continue focusing on. It feels good to be happy with myself, growing and learning, and satisfied on my own. 

 Besides, my little dog Leila is the best companion I could ask for
Leila smiling

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